Dating Apps

Honestly, when someone first told me about their experience with dating apps, it did not sound enjoyable. But lo and behold I went through a break up after and thought, “What the hell, why not give it a shot”. So I made some coffee and downloaded Bumble.

I always have a plan of attack, so I logically thought through it… have to make a bio that is straight to the point, simple, some short quirky facts, and easy to read. Then upload a photo that shows my face, that shows I have friends, that shows I am adventurous, and one that shows head to toe. Logical right? And honestly it worked.

I got matches and had conversations and got asked out. The dates were okay, I kept everything very casual because not too soon after that I had decided to move to Tennessee and out of California. I will say, I had a lot of fun. As an introvert I enjoyed challenging myself to go out and work on conversation skills (and flirting of course). I honestly was never great at understanding when someone was flirting with me. I bet you can talk to pretty much any person I have dated and they would say I am pretty thick when it comes to being aware of initial flirting.

At the same time, I think at a certain point I should have hopped off for awhile… When I moved to Nashville I didn’t really know anyone so I used it to have some human connection starting somewhere new. Dated some great people who were kind, funny, and awesome humans, but eventually got off of it as I landed a new job and just got annoyed with too much people interaction.

After getting to a healthy place in my heart and mind, I downloaded Hinge (it had finally come to Android so I was excited to see how it worked). I honestly really liked my experience on it. Went out with some great people and learned more about myself and what I wanted. Eventually, I got over it again, wanted to hop off but had matched awhile back with a guy who when we tried to hang out we were out of town or busy. We finally planned to meet up and that day I was at my friends house getting ready saying, “Ughhhh I am so over this I really DO NOT want to shower and get cute and go, but it’s too late to cancel. I’m just deleting it after this anyways.”

I started driving and arrived 15 minutes early (per usual) and ran into my date right out front of the door, I said, “Joel?” and he looked surprised. Little did I know he had had two drinks with his friends before and was trying to beat me there to get some food in his stomach too not be so toasty haha. The date started off a little funny, he seemed weird and I didn’t know why until a week later when he confessed about being out before.

We talked for five hours that night. He settled down and seemed more normal and we covered so many subjects. I was done with dating in Nashville and so was he - so we both were asking some more direct questions and seeing if this was even worth it. I left and was struck with such a sweet thought of Joel, my now fiancé.

I think dating apps are great IF you are in a good place as an individual and not reacting out of a desire to be loved or seen - they can be a wonderful way to learn about what is important to you and meet some really awesome humans.

In all honesty, I did use dating apps for while for my own gain. A lot of people do, I think thats all part of figuring yourself out through maybe tougher times of life. You are normal, and there is no shame in that. I also think it made my life tougher for awhile because I should’ve taken a break from it. Yet, even in that time I am so thankful for all the people I got to meet and know.

All this to say: sometimes dating apps can be a great thing for you if you are too busy to naturally meet people or you’re an introvert like me, or for many other reasons! They can also make things a little tougher or bring self doubt if you’re not in the best place personally to us them.

Bottom Line: use wisdom - check your heart - check your mind - have strong boundaries.

xx Liv

PS: here is proof that I made the first move ;)